letters to J

hey you,
just wanted to say hello and tell you about my week/day.

- on monday my wisdom tooth was pulled and i've been in pain ever since. :p

- Magi is having problems with Jebou at the moment and i am spending quite some time being her cheerleader. ... and just for the record and to support one of my theories: even a consensual opening of the marriage bed to someone else can (and most likely will) create problems. ... Jebou slept with another woman, but Magi was there and I'm pretty sure she was involved in the encouragement of the situation. It happened on her birthday night, and I witnessed her behavior at the restaurant - with the woman (and Jebou). It was very sensual and open. But, she says, she was drunk. I couldn't tell...and I was completely sober. She seemed fine to me...maybe a little bit cheery. Anyway, long story short....she is thinking of leaving him (cuz he is so non-chalant about it...understandably...but not very in-tune with his wife's feelings)...she loves him but the event took such a toll on her that she is short of totally crashing. -- I tell you .... all this 'open relationship' garbage doesn' t really work. It takes two very open-minded/hippiesque and self-confident partners to allow for something like this and walk away from it without scars. And personally, I'm not sure it works at all if you truly love the person. ... In my head I would want to make you happy...and in my head I think I could handle it .. but what if the same thing happens as happened to Magi? ...when she changed her mind about how she felt about it after the fact. ... I think, I would have to leave the relationship....(and even if it would just be for a while). ... well, who knows what the future will bring.... -- anyway, i really hope they'll make it through this. i guess, that's what makes a strong marriage. when you make it through sh*t like this.

hmmm..what else...

- charles calls once in a while to ask how you are doing and wants me to always tell you that he's thinking of you ("but not in a gay way" as he emphasizes ;). so...i'm finally passing that message along. also, mic sends you a big palm, she says. magi sends all her love to you and your mother is feeling so much better now that she knows you are safe. she is going to get back to her assistant principal program. i spoke to her twice in this time that you've been away.

- your wife and your daughter are looking beautiful as always (although, you can see for yourself - on facebook- once you finally get your little internet time).

- D is driving me nuts as usual but i've found a way to make him make up for his complete financial ineptitude: whenever he has a 1/2 hour -- waiting for his woman to get out of work/class, for example -- and stops by with all the children, i put him to work. so far, he's installed shades, put up the cabinets for kids, mirrors, etc. ... i'm gonna make a list. ;) ... this curtails my anger a bit....because, most of the time i'm just angry at him (for not being any financial help).

Other than that…

- thinking of planning some time at a beach (with giselle and magi, maybe). not sure when. ... i also wouldn't mind skiing but nobody knows how to ski. i need to diversify my social circle and make some non-latino/caribbean friends...some nordic people. ;) -- and don't bother telling me i'm stereotyping - i'm joking, of course.

- kids are growing and are being cute. yesterday, nini brought me breakfast in bed! she even cut the crust of the sandwich. ;) it was really too cute. ... later that day she whispered that she wants to be a boy. a boy that can play with barbies, and glitter make-up, too. When I asked her why she wanted to be a boy she said that she likes boys and likes to be cool like them but they don't want to play with her because she is a girl. ;) -- I tried to explain the concept of a tomboy to her but don't think she got it. At 5 years of age, I told her, I wanted to be a boy, too. In fact most of my youth I wanted to be a boy, for they just got to do cooler stuff and play rougher. But, I ensured her, one day you'll be happy to be a girl. :)