i'm my therapist's therapist

So,.. I went to see my old therapist. The last time I had visited her - years ago - I had decided that, even though I liked her personally, I wasn't too convinced about her therapy style and academic credentials (she is a big fan of Dr. Phil and loves to share stories). To that, I have to say, that my mother is a therapist and probably the most competent and well-read one I have ever talked to about anything. But, my mother isn't here...and...she is my mother. 

And so - despite my reservations about Dr. W -  I chose to call her anyway. I really am not sure why (probably laziness of finding a new one), Also, she had met J a few times.

She didn't remember me or J and she was being her quirky old self doing all the talking (instead of listening to me -- the client ;) ) ... but when I told her why I had come, I realized, why I had really ended up in her office again.

Before I could reveal even a sentence more than the fact that J had passed away, she emotionally related immediately and shared with me the tragic news that her son had just died. And with 'just' she meant almost exactly one year ago. He was 31 years old and died unexpectedly and suddenly. I was shocked, for if there is one thing worse I could imagine than losing your partner, it is to lose your child. It really set me back.... put things into perspective in a way.

She then proceeded to tell me all the many signs of his continued presence she had experienced . She told me how several people had approached her to let her know her son had visited them to send her one or the other message. The most memorable one was the one in which he let his mother know that he had been at her 70th birthday party this year, and what she was wearing, and what she said, and all that.
It was sweet. I felt like I'm in a one-on-one grief support group -- only that my session was up within 30 minutes and I had to cough up a co-payment. I actually felt a little bit like her therapist....but either way...it was a good encounter. Not what I expected but more helpful than I could have possibly imagined.