therapeutic exercises

I thought about creating a book - for my own therapeutic purposes. A book that tells the story of this loss. And maybe, at the end, I can walk away. But, I'm a bit torn about that. I wonder, whether a book would be inappropriate. Maybe not if I just make this book for myself. 

In the first few months after his death, I wanted to tell my grief to the world (I guess, I still do) - back then, I actually contemplated an exhibit about his death. I had the whole thing visualized. It was going to be deeply personal. For example, there was going to be something like a little chamber, only fitting one person, that would hold the photograph I took when I first saw him in his casket a few days after he died. I was alone with him. I looked at him for so long and I wanted to capture this very last time that I was to see him. In this vision of a mini-shrine, I was going to cover the image with a cloth, one that had to be lifted by the viewer. It was meant to bring the person as close to that exact same spot I was standing at. On the closing day of the exhibit, I thought, I would discard of everything. Everything that makes me cry. His clothes, his books, his ashes... I was going to let him go - symbolically. But then I became afraid of this type of ultimatum for myself. What if I wasn't ready to let go at the end of that imagined exhibit? Anyway ... the exhibit idea turned into a book idea. A book that would instruct the reader to seek a place of silence before opening its pages. ... And now, I have reached the point at which I'm thinking, maybe I'll just make one copy.