out of the furnace

Spoiler alert -- if you haven't seen the movie, you may not want to read this entry.

So - I went to see "Out of The Furnace". I have always admired Christian Bale's acting. The film was well directed, maybe a little predictable and violent at times, but all in all, very well done. Woody Harrelson plays a really good villain.

I was wondering about this thirst for revenge and what good it does, for it will never bring that person you lost back to life. Then I pondered, whether finding out what really happened was a necessary part of closure, and that thought brought me to the question whether, one day, I would be ending up in extra therapy about this lack of closure.

Even though, I had my doubts about J's death, for he had died in an apartment full of people, who may have been partially responsible - one way or the other - I never found enough motivation to further investigate. I was entirely too overwhelmed by grief. Yes, it made me angry that the detectives were just labeling the case as 'no-foul play' because he seemed to be just another "hood-rat" in this place he should have never been at in the first place. To the DTs the true cause of his death probably didn't matter much and it was much easier to close the case with such a 'no-foul play' note.

But I saw the bruises and cuts all over him. On his face, his hands, his lips, .. they were subtle wounds - except maybe for the big bruise on his forehead. That wasn't subtle at all. But, the officials insisted. Natural death. .. As natural as someone's death can be with a system full of drugs and alcohol. Accidental overdose, the medical examiner speculated. J has abused substances in such high dosages in the past that he has awed the medics who have treated him. On more than one occasion have I heard a doctor tell me (or him) that they're not sure how he survived this level of intoxication. In other words, J was resilient. I remember being surprised at the confirmation of this when I read the autopsy report. His body had absolutely no damage from all the mistreatment he had given it over the years. Yes, the medical examiner said something about his heart not having appeared completely normal, but, I get the feeling that she just wanted to tell me something of comfort over the phone. Because, in the report (which one only receives 4 months after the actual autopsy), his heart is not described as abnormal. How could she remember such a small detail, ad hoc, months after the examination? She said his heart was a bit floppy on one side and didn't seem like the normal heart of a 36 year old. The report doesn't mention this detail so I'm not sure what to believe. All I know is that _nothing_ matters, not how he died, not if it was natural, not if anyone is to blame, nothing matters because none of these truths will ever bring him back and that is all I care about. I have lost him forever. His daughter has lost him forever. My children. His mother, his sisters, his friends ...

Christian Bale's character (Russell) hunts his brother's killer down until the very last moment of the movie. And when he shoots him in the head (a bit unbelievable for the type of character he played) the camera comes close to Russell so we can participate in this moment of relief (?) as he slowly and audibly exhales a big sigh of sad accomplishment.