mystical night-time travels?

a few months ago, my old watch died and, out of my junk drawer, i dug a watch my great-aunt had owned .. for about five minutes, that is. My mother had bought the watch for her aunt but when she presented the gift (a fairly expensive, water-proof, Esprit watch), my aunt told her to keep it; she already had a watch, she said. when i heard the story, i had to chuckle. it was so typical of her. she was always very matter-of-fact like that. last year, my aunt passed away. she was in her early eighties.

now, i have been wearing that watch for a few months and every night it loses about ten minutes. i wake up in the morning and it will display 6 a.m. instead of the actual time of 10 past six. it doesn't lag during my waking hours, keeping up with the day's pace. but at night, when i sleep, something seems to happen.

last night, J's daughter slept over - together with his mom. when i finally went to bed, i thought about how nice it felt to have them here and how much love i have for this little girl and his mom.
when i woke up this morning, my watch was two hours behind.

i am probably going to have to change the battery, eventually ... but, sometimes i'd like to imagine that the reason for the lost time is of a more mystical nature. i like to imagine that, when i am sleeping, i travel away into another dimension to be with J. he has been in my dreams a lot lately .. maybe this explains it. ;)

it's liberating to let your fantasy go sometimes. why do i have to keep reminding myself that his body is in ashes and that he'll never walk by my side again? i am always so morbid about that loss of him. i should entertain the mystical more often.