what's love for?

i've decided to accept the fact that i'll probably be on a self-indulging, heartbroken pity/sadness trip for a while and you're just going to have to suffer with me while i philosophize about love, loss, grief, anger, and whatever emotions are attached when one gets their heart broken and/or gives up on love.

so... today my question to the world (who isn't allowed to comment back because i am way too sensitive to open myself up to public criticism - but you can email me) is: what the hell is the point of romantic love? why are we built the way we are built? why do we love people who don't love us back? why do we get this attached to a person in the first place? and why isn't there some sort of swan-mating-type union set up for us? -- what? - it isn't in the interest of the species of swans to spread their seed? (are swans a species? probably not, but i'm not going to go into refreshing my biology knowledge right now. i'm sure i won't be using it for another 10 years. not that i don't want to learn but at this very moment i don't want to do anything but bitch about love.)

so. .. anybody?

what was the point of me loving this man the way i did if it didn't change a thing?

and what makes this guy so freaggin' special anyway? why him?? ... he's an addict/alcoholic, bipolar, he's rude a lot, he has no empathy, he's irresponsible, broke, jobless, without trust or respect for women... and the list goes on... WHY? why did i choose to accept and love this guy the way he is when i wouldn't dream of giving the same patience and tolerance to _anyone_ else (who would possibly be much more deserving of my love, care & attention)?

and it made no difference whatsoever. love, loyalty, care, sacrifices ... for nothing.

i was watching woody allen's "crimes & misdemeanors" the other night and while it isn't one of my favorites (of his flicks), there are a few concepts in there that really stuck.  so... there is this fictitious professor he's interviewing for his documentary. professor levy, i think. in one of the snippets, this guys mentions a psychological idea that really made me wonder. he says that when we search for love or a partner we gravitate toward people that resemble a significant immediate family member from our childhood - a mother, father, but maybe also a sibling or another close family member - and we then expect our partners to correct whatever faults we experienced with the dysfunctional people from our childhood. basically, it's a no-win situation. .... the question remains: why do we do this?

my parents are both pretty stable and well-rounded people...but both my brothers are relatively dysfunctional...one is bipolar, i'm almost certain...the other one is a junkie and i haven't seen him in over 15 years. HA! ... this observation, I - Ms. McOveranalyze - have made in the first few months of being with J, of course....nevertheless, the epiphany didn't change any of my actions.

anywho. ... another, funnier line from the above mentioned allen movie:
woman: so, how is your relationship life going?
woody: oh, it's not...not at all... the last time i've been inside a woman was when i went to visit the statue of liberty 6 months ago.
;)